Hiya all...New Year started with a spate of photographs from friends who committed sins in the sin city, as well as friends who succumbed to the original sin... Well, pardon me for equating marriage to a sin (that too Original), but the whole mythology, religion are slowly getting to me. I'm not sure at this stage if the Original sin refers to the marriage or ... for lack of an appropriate word, consummation (I can look into google about it, but ... may be later), but I guess at this stage they do not mean two too different things. After all, you need marriage for consummation, so each of them is a partner-in-crime for another.
Almost all the girls I have known got married, but I was a little taken aback when I knew a lot of my friends who were guys were getting married. Of course, a couple of my very close friends had got married a couple of years back itself, but I knew them much better than anybody else, so the element of surprise was .... well...not an element at all. But here it was not just an element.... it was very compound.
I donot know if its just me (you know when you say that, that you mean its probably just you) who feels 25 is too young to accept responsibilities. And there are friends around me who know they are ready to be married. There are others who know they will be ready to be married. Still others who are... already married!!! Each of them have their own stories to tell, and I cannot but be amazed at the whole spectrum of experiences that they permeate. These days, discussions of the life beyond bachelorhood and singles poker night outs are forming a gargantuan part of my discussions with friends and roommates. And, just like with every other issue, I wonder.
Well, it all starts from the question of why do we want to get married. Companionship ?? Biological needs?? Emotional needs?? Pure Boredom?? Or is it just something that you are expected to get into at a certain stage of life?? Peer Pressure?? Familial Pressures?? Why, oh Why.
I do not know if its because I'm still studying (or studying still, depending on how you look at it) that the notion of me getting married has kept its distance from me. It almost feels weird. But then, when I look at my friends getting married, I start asking these questions - are we in that phase now?? Or is the phase setting a bit early in our generation? And what exactly is my generation??
Like any other guy, I have known people in love. People who seemed to be perfect to be married. People who appeared to just blend into each other. So true that its almost surreal. And people who got married, the "arranged" way. Who just took time to know each other. Been together through the boring, tough, frustrated, happy, indifferent, cold, warm, exciting times together. spent enough time living (after getting married) to see the best and worst in each other. Spent enough time to see the best in the worst of each other. And fell in love with each other. So real that its true. And then I have heard of others. Who are confident of being in love. But unsure if they are sure. So... surreal. Is it the notion of being in love or having someone to come home to or having some one to look forward to that captivates us and drives us towards the whole notion of marriage? For a long time, I thought this was a girlish notion. But if late, I am beginning to understand the universality of this notion (atleast among my clique).
Probably we are at a stage when our favorite pastimes (friends...) have got on with their lives - by their lives, I mean marriage. That makes us all the more lonelier than before. I remember the days when 20 of us would gather around and nothing would be taboo anymore. Slowly, the number crumpled and additions and adjustments were made. I guess we yearn for that sharing that pushes us towards finding a mate. Sharing where nothing... nothing is taboo.
The other day me and my roomie were going around with a friend to look for some houses when his real-estate agent popped a casual question about our girl friends. Pretty innoccuous in the hard rock culture. But what struck me was the universality and ubiquity of this question, in various forms from various quarters. There are (my friends') parents asking my friends about marriages. "Two years" is the most common answer. But then why do parents ask us now? And how is this different than the real estate agent asking me if I had a girlfriend?
I guess lot of things considered, this is probably just another case of social and peer pressure. Every body in the parents' peer group must be asking them about their wards' status with respect to marriage. Similar to what you would feel if all those guys (and girls) around you got married and asked you when you were tying. And by extrapolation, similar to what you would feel if everyone around you has a "girlfriend". Peer Pressure!!! But then, would parents understand that??? But then would that be right!!!
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